Lyrics:
Mobile phones are never in the same place twice. Mobile phones . . .

How did we ever organize our lives,
without mobile phones?
Am I coming or going?
How did we constantly re-assure ourselves?
Publicly shouting!

I text, “10:58, I’m on the way,
Meet u there in Fed Square, Is 11:05 OK?”

“Arrived safely, missing u,
stuck like glue, u know who.”

No name, fast game, cheaper than talk, text shame. (x3)

(CHANT over)
Mobile phones . . . are never in the same place twice . . . .
I had a crisis just this morning
I had to use the landline to ring myself
To find out where my phone was
It was in my pocket all the time
(up a tone) I left my mobile charger in Sydney
Can’t get my messages but everyone assumes.
Sometimes in the evening my head hurts.
We used to talk “brain cancer” but not any more.
You’re breaking up, you’re breaking up,
you’re breaking up. (end chant)

On my phone, I can
Send myself a list of all the things I need to do,
I’ll know just who is who.
You’d better get one too.
One of those new two number phones,
with one for the biz and one for the friends and family;
With a real time tracker, voice memo,
stocks, maps, weather and an e-diary;
Games, compass, calendar, remote control,
light saver and converter BOT;
A video camera, foot massager,
back scrubber, ipod, mp3;
A camera, shaver, CPR, [CPR?] GPS and Blackberry;
Facebook, My Space, Twitter, Racebook;
A dog detector, a radar reflector,
a cat repellant and a warm fire glow.
How did we ever get by with a
“give me a ring on the dog and bone”? . . .
with an ordinary phone?

I text therefore I am
Upwardly mobile. I save face.
Mobile phones are never in the same place.

© Bruce McNicol October 2009